What do you do when everyone thinks you’re silly and naive?
What if I am silly and naive?
I want to trust Shen, but Ariadne trusted him, and look where that got her. She looked like a fool. I want to trust my Order, but how many awful things have happened in history because some Mystagogue thought they could handle something they couldn’t handle? And is it even fair to ask Alastor to trust my Order when his is so awful?
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone in my own cabal. Nobody else really cares about the Mysterium’s goals, and now Flare is part of everyone else. And now Alastor and Rhiannon are really together, and I’m happy for them, but it feels a little lonely, even if they’re not using it as an excuse to take each others’ sides.
And now I don’t even know if we can trust Giselle.
I remember when I was so certain that the shape of the government didn’t really matter as long as the Pentacle survived. Now, it seems so, so important. Is this me having my eyes opened about the way the world works? Is it me focusing on worldly concerns and losing the thread of enlightenment?
What do you do when you’re silly and naive?
You seek wisdom.
Fate doesn’t have any wisdom for me… or does it? If I need guidance… can Fate provide me with a guide? Or at least, a hint of where to find one I can trust? Maybe this is where I need to learn to trust destiny to put my feet on the right path.
It feels right.
I have a plan, that is not a plan, just like so much of Fate. But not tonight. Tonight I need to conserve my mana and try to get rested for tomorrow. I need to try not to worry too much about the photograph in one of my old textbooks, or the hundred questions I could ask.
Fortunately, Life means no more sleepless nights.